Hypnotherapist Michael Pulman’s poor experience of mental health provision sent him looking for an alternative. He now believes that the power of hypnosis to help people face up to past traumas and overcome them is much more effective that anti-depressants and is calling on doctors to change their attitudes.
This is Michael’s story
“Three redundancies in as many years had left me reeling and scared. I need to step back and think and find a job, any job, where there was a reasonable prospect of still being there in a few years’ time.
I like kids, I like learning and I like helping kids to discover new things so I hit on teaching. It wasn’t an easy choice for me as I needed to get some more qualifications before I could even start the course.
I went ahead though, and went back to university at the grand old age of 33. And it was great, I was even voted student of the year!
Then it all hit. One day I just couldn’t get out of bed. I need to explain that, I don’t mean I was feeling a bit tired, or even that I had flu or something so felt I had to lay down. It was a different level to that. If someone had put a gun to my head, or offered me a million pounds I still could not have got up. I felt completely stopped.
I had never felt like this before and hope I never will again. It was a freeze frame in life and I didn’t know what to do next or how to start moving again.
I couldn’t talk to anyone, although I had friends and a close family. I have always said that my mum is my best friend but I felt I could even speak to her.
In the end, I did manage to speak to my mum and I told her ‘I’m lost.’ Things moved then and I found myself at the doctor’s. I spent 45 minutes with the doctor but a lot of that was endless form filling, there were acres of forms. This was at a time I was hardly functioning and I could have well done without this.
The treatment I got was what I came to find out was the usual, anti-depressants, in my case citalopram. I was also introduced to a self-help group which for me was just a way of spreading the misery. There we all sat, none of us with any expertise in dealing with mental health, all ending up outdoing each other in the misery stakes. They say misery loves company and believe me, that group proved the truth of that old saying.
The medication seemed to have no effect at all. And a little voice started in my head saying ‘how does this tablet know anything about me. It can’t know how to put me, Michael right again.’ If I asked the tablet ‘what is wrong,’ I wasn’t going to get an answer. And I knew I needed some answers.
I began to do some research and came across a local hypnotherapist called Peter Field. Six sessions with Peter did more for me than all the pills in the world. He was talking to me, not some condition or brain imbalance.
Over these six sessions I was taken on a voyage of discovery into those experiences which had formed my unique personality, how I validated and remembered them made me the man I was now. And those memories could be worked with, perhaps how I interpreted things back then were not the only way, perhaps my adult mind could process things differently. Over our sessions this is exactly what I did, under Peter’s expert guidance.
I learned so much, but one thing above all, to be kinder to myself. All those memories, those voices from the past fell into a different place. They couldn’t hurt me anymore. I found myself changing very quickly.
Peter has recently died, and I can say that meeting him is one of the most important things which has ever happened to me. People use the phrase life changing a lot, but this really was life changing. Not only did it make me much happier and more balanced it also changed other people’s lives as well. It set me on the path to helping other people and that has become my career.
I trained as a hypnotherapist myself and that is what I do today. It took me ten months to learn the skills. It was financially a tough time for me, but emotionally a most wonderful time. Learning with people who had the same aims helped me build lifelong friendships and I know I was on the right path.
I am now a full-time practising hypnotherapist. I do get great results, and I believe it is because of how I got here. My clients often tell me that I make an immediate connection with them. I just say I have been there, and the proof of the pudding . . .
But I am not writing this to go on about me, well not too much anyway. What I want to do is change how doctors approach things.
I have found out since I started working as a hypnotherapist that my experience of being given pills as a first option is common. I have seen clients who have been on antidepressants for decades and are still having problems. In makes you wonder what is going on here, if the anti-depressants haven’t worked in the last ten years why are doctors assuming they are going to work in the next ten years?
I know my sort of therapy works and I am trying so hard, along with many of my colleagues to get more members of the medical profession to take it up. The medical profession needs a complete turn around. Drugs should be the last resort not the first port of call. I can show that with the right help people can make a permanent change to get better. I am walking living proof and so are many of my clients.
Let’s get the change going now.
]]>Ginny the dog (with a bit of help from Michael) and Farah became firm friends after a short therapy session
As summer comes along many of us like to get out on a country walk with our family, but for some people it is not fun. They are dog-phobic and always looking over their shoulder in case there is a dog near.
My client Farah, who had come to my anxiety Hypnotherapy Clinic in Lichfield was one of those people. She had been frightened of dogs since she was four, but now she is fear-free and laughs as she strokes a passing pooch.
I took Farah to the local common we came across neighbourhood dog Ginny and her owner. Ginny was certainly not expecting to become therapy dog for the day, but she was delighted to help.
My content free hypnotherapy techniques for dealing with anxiety worked so well that, within 20 minutes, Farah was stroking Ginny, delighted to be able to stroke a dog for the first time in her life.
She said: ‘I’m touching Ginny’s head. And I love the way it feels. Twenty minutes ago, when Michael asked me how anxious I felt around dogs I would have said 10, now it is none – I feel fine. I really like the way she feels, it’s so weird. Ginny is a star.’
Farah is really into this stroking thing now, she has even been around to her neighbours to ask if she can stroke their dog too.
‘Content free’ therapy: you don’t even have to tell me what your fear is
We know that phobias like Farah’s are often the result of fears implanted in childhood. By using techniques such as getting the client to make an image of their fear like a film and then running it backwards or making it into a comedy, we can dislodge that fear. It can work like a dream, as we see in Farah’s case.
I can do that ‘content free’ which means you don’t have to relive any trauma or dwell on your fear, you don’t even have to tell me what your fear is! With the techniques I use the memory remains, but the emotion is taken out and the client creates their own preferred response.
In Farah’s case that response is a good giggle and a tickle round a dog’s ears. Result!
]]>How I used hypnotherapy for phobia to help my mum overcome her fear of flying
My mum, Joy is 71 this month and she is jetting about all over Europe. She is just back from a break in Rome and is off to Sicily and Greece later in the year. For her, this is remarkable. For years she was terrified of flying. She says: “It used to be terrible, I would need a tranquiliser pill and a vodka to get me on a plane. Then, when I arrived I would start worrying about flying back so I never really enjoyed it.’
I was so pleased when she asked me if hypnotherapy for flying phobia would work. She came to my Walsall hypnotherapy clinic and we got started. Mum was a bit worried she would have to go into her whole life story and, as she put it talk about things things a bit embarrassing between mother and son. I reassured her it wasn’t like that at all. Modern phobia hypnotherapy is quick, effective and the client does not need to disclose secrets to the hypnotherapist.
It worked brilliantly for Mum. She is really enjoying life and loves travelling abroad now. Her life has opened up in other ways as well. She says, “I used to be really anxious about going out. If I was inside a building I would be looking for the exit. Now I am always at the theatre and out in the shopping mall. I love life and I am making the most of it.”
I love helping people, and this one is really special. What could be better than seeing your mum’s life transformed?
If you are worried about flying as the holiday season starts, now is the time to deal with it. Modern hypnotherapy can overcome flying phobia in one or two sessions. Forget the image of swinging watches and lying on couches, it’s not like that at all. Because we understand more now about how our minds hold beliefs and memories we can use simple logical techniques to help you change those beliefs. It works and it is quick.
If you want to enjoy getting on that plane. Contact me now.
]]>Let me take you back to a time long long ago…well 12 months ago actually. I had just finished eating a wonderful lunch at my mothers house. It was that time of year when mother and son engaged in a family traditional feast gorging on a platter of world cheeses, pate, crackers and port…lots of port. As usual I regretted eating so much, I knew I would before I even picked up the first biscuit. The familiar feelings of feeling fat and frumpy after eating so much had returned before I finished chewing. I had done it…. I worked hard in the gym all week, had eaten healthy and nutritional meals morning, noon and evening only to let the greedy pig take over and take me two steps back…..Idiot!
This wasn’t the first time either. For so many years I would go hell for leather in the gym, sweating and charging around like an Ogre who lost his last Rolo…other sweets are available! For years I would read every jar, every tin of food on the supermarket shelf learning all about nutritional content. I stopped enjoying food a long time ago. Day after day all I could see on my plate was protein, carbohydrates, fat. Each day I became Carol Vorderman counting and subtracting my daily calorie intake against calories burned in the gym. My life revolved around food, training and food..and training of course.
Since I became a therapist I have used many of the techniques I learned for self development. If you needed an expert on procrastination then I was your man and I would get back to you eventually…see what I did there? But now I no longer put things off as I used to. I make plans and I carry them out. Every month I make progress and achieve the things I want to achieve. Before I became a therapist I was riddled with fear and doubt. You see everyone else found success easy, everyone else just did what they wanted to do and did it perfectly each and every time. I could never do that, success happened to other people, they deserved it and I didn’t. More about the word deserve in another blog coming soon.
So shortly after swallowing down a wonderful Brie I heard a voice in my head say “enough”. Now before you think I’ve lost the plot let me explain about the voices in my head. One of the therapies I use with clients is called Warrior, Settler, Nomad, WSN. This amazing therapy helps create and build characters from your own psyche to help you achieve issues in both private and professional life. Remember I spoke about overcoming procrastination, fear and doubt? Well, WSN was just one of the therapies that helped me and my clients week in week out. I have used WSN for confidence, fear, anxiety, motivation, career decisions the list goes on. It is truly amazing.
Back to the voice. A part deep within me had enough of eating without enjoying, training without gaining and feeling fat and frumpy. I had enough. It was there in my mothers living room that I decided that I was not happy, but more than that, I decided I deserved to be happy. I knew what I wanted and decided 2016 was the year I was going to achieve it. I also knew that I needed help. If you want something you never had you have to do something you’ve never done. I spoke to an old friend of mine who agreed to train me. He had achieved fantastic results for himself and other like minded athletes looking to lose weight and gain muscle. For the first time I had someone training and supporting me. I had someone who got to know and understand my habits and behaviours. He could relate to how I felt because he once had those same doubts and fears.
If you want to achieve something then find someone who has what you want and mirror them. This means whatever they have done to succeed you do likewise. You buy in to that template and follow it religiously. In my case this was train and eat the same foods as my template. For a year now I have eaten the same foods in the same quantity and proportion, the same time of day, prepared and cooked the same. I have trained the same days, at the same times, with the same intensity doing the same exercises, routines, sets and reps. I have consistently stayed away from the high fat and carbohydrate foods whilst learning to enjoy the foods I now eat, and I no longer feel guilty when I treat myself to some fast food or a bar of chocolate because I deserve it.
Having a great personal trainer to teach you about nutrition and exercise is one thing but you need something else. Your trainer can’t be with you 24/7, the one person who you have to constantly rely on is you. I knew the right foods to buy, prepare and cook. I knew the exercises to do and just how to do them. But what else?… Mindset! Mindset Mindset. I have learned the tools to help me achieve whatever I decide. I do this with excitement, confidence and a clear expectation of achieving. I am not ashamed to say I still get nervous, a little doubting at times but I know and accept this is natural, it is a part of me and I embrace it. I don’t know everything but I know that there are templates out there to follow.
So where am I now in my weight loss journey? Well, I’ve lost 35lbs of fat…I’ve lost over 4 inches off my waist line and I’ve gained confidence, self esteem and a whole new respect for myself. This year I have helped so many people, many of whom come to see me for weight loss. I think this is because I can relate to them. I understand those fears, those doubts and insecurities. I understand their mindset. I help people create the mindset that works for them so it just becomes a part of them. You really can achieve your goals if you know someone who can guide you in the right direction. I would like to thank my personal trainer Adam and all those who have supported me in my gym. Most of all I would like to give myself some credit, for respecting myself and wanting the best for my life, for giving me the mindset to be strong and confident even though at times I felt weak and lacked confidence, just as we all do at times. But thats ok
It’s not always easy but it is always worth it…
]]>How many of you have a first aid box?
More than likely you will have something tucked away… probably in a draw somewhere, in the kitchen… am I right? Yes I’m not the only one with that draw that has everything in am I !
Paracetamol , plasters, rennies ( other indigestion tablets are available) TCP, burn cream.. the list could go on…
All these items are stored just in case of an accident and the thought of knowing we have something buried away in a corner of the house somewhere gives us some form of comfort.
These items have one thing in common, they all help with physical ailments of course.
But wait a minute!!!
Wouldn’t it be fantastic if we could carry something around with us that could help with psychological ailments such as anxiety, stress, embarrassing encounters , difficult social situations…
The following is just one of many exercises I teach my clients to use with astonishingly effective results.
Firstly think of what you would have in your very own Empowerment Aid Kit ( EAK )
Example #
Memories of a scene from your favourite holiday
The taste from a great meal you have eaten
Favourite smell or colour
Particular song/sound
A texture, item, time with a loved one
It’s whatever you want but make each thing… including the EAK box itself , VIVID…. see, smell, hear, taste a touch
Do not do the following whilst driving or operating machinery… I couldn’t afford the claims!
SETTLING ROUTINE
1. Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed. Sit or lie down. Arms by your side.Phone on silent. Eyes closed.
2. Take slow a deep breaths, in through your nose.. out through your mouth. Take your time doing this there’s no need to hurry!
3. Notice the muscles from the top of your head relaxing, the muscles in your face… around your eyes and eyelids, cheeks a jaw muscles becoming more relaxed.
4. This relaxation spreading in to your chest a down along your spine… through your arms and into each finger and thumb. Continuing down in to your thighs, calves, shins, feet and each toe.
5. Repeat steps 2-4 only this time imagine a big warm wave sweeping through every muscle and doubling your relaxation. Notice your breathing slower, easier, your heart resting gently.
Now open your EAK and enjoy interacting with the items you want… making it truly vivid and feeling totally calm, happy and relaxed as you do so.
If you practice practice practice this SETTLING ROUTINE then after a while you can skip it and in those situations at work, home, social situation etc.. you will be able to just close your eyes and see clearly your EAK and find swift comfort from those niggling worries and stresses.
Practice practice practice and enjoy creating and using your new Kit
]]>So I’m watching a wildlife programme, I love learning about the world around us rather than finding out if Adam from Aberdeen has passed the lie detector test and is the baby’s father!
Anyway…I’m watching turtles hatching on a beach and racing into the ocean, racing for their very survival… I’m gripped… heart in my mouth and feeling sorry for these poor creatures… but should I feel sorry for them?
Thinking about it I’m rather jealous… but why I hear you ask?
The turtle lays and buried its eggs on the beach and nothing happens until fifty or so days later. Then the sound of cracking shell and the emergence of hatchlings scurrying towards the ocean shore before the appearance of hungry predators awaiting a feast.
Those that make the ocean survive to repeat this whole process of laying eggs on a beach…others aren’t so fortunate. Sounds pretty simplistic doesn’t it? But there lies the turtles advantage over a humans and thats where my admiration lies.
Let me explain
1. How does the turtle know which way to go after breaking out the shell?
2. How do they know they need to use their beaks to break out of the shell?
3. How do they know that travelling fast is so important?
4. How do they know what the water is?
5. How do they know the water means survival?
6. How do they know they have to travel upwards to get out of the shell?
One word can answer all these questions…. INSTINCT
And it’s this instinct that gives a turtle a unique advantage over us humans.
Turtles are not taught negativity or expectations of failure.
Turtles are not told what they can or can’t do or that they can’t achieve something. Humans lose their hard wired instincts as they grow up around those whose beliefs conflict our own. Our assertiveness, protectiveness and capacity to change becomes diluted.
Instead of just doing we are tied up in conflict, negative beliefs and self doubt…..then along comes a Clinical Hypnotherapist.
]]>Welcome to the August edition of my blog. This time of year can be a particularly stressful one in people’s lives. The dreaded school holidays!
Even if you don’t have children of your own, you will no doubt see more and more children around your local shop, town, parks or street corner at this time of year. Does that fill you with fear or unease?
If you do have children, it’s that time of year when you could be wondering how on earth you’re going to keep them busy for six whole weeks. Many of us plan, me included, a holiday for all the family. Just the thought of planning one, let alone the holiday itself, can leave us feeling stressed.
Do you have enough money for a holiday?
Can you get the time off work?
Can you all agree on where to go?
Who needs new clothes to go away?
How long should you go for?
Listing the positives and negatives of a holiday abroad against a holiday at home… The list is endless.
It’s also the time of year when children need new uniform… Let’s not start another new list of fears!
People do live with fears their whole lives of course. The summer months highlight people’s negativity towards the heat (yes even our British summer) . Then there is the hay fever season, wasps, bees, midges, thunderstorms. The councils decide to carry out maintenance on our roads so congestion and the likelihood of queuing is more prevalent, who likes traffic jams? Wait a minute… We are back listing the things we dislike!
So Augusts edition should be about lists I think. We all have our lists: our bucket list; need to do list; shopping list. Well the new page on my website has a list of phobias. It is by no means exhaustive but please realise as you read through the A-Z that these are real phobias that have a real impact on the sufferers, for that is what they do, suffer.
But what is a phobia?
More on that next month. Until next month, bye for now.
]]>OK Pop Pickers… who sang the song with the lyrics, “words are like weapons they wound sometime”? They have a point, words do wound, especially if the words are those from a loved one.
However, was the singer (thought of the name yet?) entirely accurate? Who allows the words to wound us? That’s right, we do! Yes, they fire their verbal volley firm and true but we are the ones that ultimately decide if they hit their target. What can we do to ensure their ammunition is nothing more than a damp squib?
Here is a simple but effective technique that can easily negate the negative narratives, immobilise the idiotic insults and shoot down the sarcastic statements, regardless of who slings them!
You’re going to create your own unique shield that will instantly and consistently defend you, whenever needed. So let’s begin…..
Find a safe and comfortable place to sit or lie down. Close your eyes and just let your mind bring forth a symbol of what is strong, safe and secure to you.
You may see clearly in your mind a medieval knight’s shield. If so, what shape is it? How big is it? What is it made from? Does it have a crest and, if so, see clearly the design and colours used.
Perhaps your shield is a waterfall that wraps around you like a towel? A roaring torrent so loud and powerful that you could not possibly hear, let alone feel any words plunging through its mighty swell.
Or how about a wall soaring high into the clouds and stretching as wide as the eye can see. What is the wall made from? It could be steel, brick, or glass. Is it transparent? Does it have a colour that feels safe for you?
Whatever you decide upon, make sure it feels right for you and make it as truly vivid as possible! Remember… Safe, secure, strong, protective.
And now you have installed your own unique shield, all you need to do to use it is say,
“SHIELD UP” in your mind.
That’s all there is to it. Know without question that whenever you say “SHIELD UP” it will instantly become the barrier you created and will serve you just as you wish it to.
That’s it for now. More next month….. OK, OK, the singer was Cher and the song? “If I Could Turn Back Time”.
]]>Articles, news and general information on aspects of Hypnotherapy and other therapies will be added here as the site is built.
Articles, news and general information on aspects of Hypnotherapy and other therapies will be added here as the site is built.